A Change of Seasons

I have NEVER dealt well with change in my life...well, major changes. In a few short weeks I will be entering a new season of my life as a Mother. My older two will be heading off to school. They will be attending the school that is in our neighborhood. This week has been extremely emotional for me as I have been filling out paperwork and making plans for them to have the needed shots (I fell a little behind on those...oops!!!). My babies are not babies anymore. I am so excited for them and know they will absolutely love it and do well. But as a Mother my heart is being ripped apart because for the past 7 years Christopher and Kaibryn have been with me day in and day out. I have always been there. But now it is time for them to go to school.

I have always gone to a private school and to be honest with you the thoughts of sending my kids to a public school has scared me to death. But this is the path that the Lord has led us on and we are going to obey. The Lord has taught me alot over the past several months about my role in this world. I am to love the Lord with all my heart and soul and love my neighbor. Yes. My priority is first to my family. But what about my neighbor?

I tend to get caught up in my own little world within the four walls of my home and not look out at the people around me who are lost or hurting. Yes. I am a mom of four. I stay at home. We go to church. We are not involved in alot of outside activity where I am around the lost. And sad to say, I don't know alot of lost people. Over and over God keeps reminding me that my life is NOT about Keli...what makes Keli comfy...what is easy for Keli. The Christian life is not easy and God never says it is. He just promises us that He will never leave us and that when Keli is weak then He is strong and He will equip me for whatver situation I face.

I prayed and prayed over the spring and summer that if God wanted us to send our kids to a private school that He would provide the money. I probably drove by a school 4 or 5 times a week and just prayed. That prayer was never answered. The phrase that kept ringing in my heart was "too easy." When I have stopped and prayed it was like God said that if we sent our kids to school there it would be "easy" for me. "Easy" because I would already know people. "Easy" because most people already went to church somewhere. "Easy" because most people talk openly about the Lord. God has not called Keli to an "easy" life.

Sending my kids to a public school is a huge step of faith for me and will be a time of stretching for me as well. Those of you who know me well know that I am not a very outgoing person. Chris tells me I am "SAD" (Social Anxiety Disorder). I do tend to panic in a group of people especially those I don't know...my heart races...I start sweating...and in my head I am constantly trying to figure out what I am going to say next...I'M WEIRD!!!!!!!! :) I really think that God has prepared my heart the past few months for the months ahead. I can honestly say I am excited (don't get me wrong...still nervous) about getting to meet new people and allowing Christ to use me to show His love to others. It is not going to be easy one bit for me but God is reminding me over and over that He will be faithful to be strong in my weaknesses and that I am just to walk with Him and allow His love, kindness, people skills, words to flow through me to everyone I come in to contact with.

Another change I am facing is...I have a job.

A few months ago I had a friend who taught at the "Little Sprouts Learning Center" at our church. She asked if I would be interested in teaching and that I should think about it. I did think it would be a good way to help earn some extra money for our family but prayed that if God wanted me to do this HE would have to allow it to basically fall in my lap. I really didn't think about it any more past that.

Last week I got a message on facebook from the director of "Little Sprouts" saying that some people had given her my name and asked if I was interested. I talked to Chris and began praying specifically for 3 things. I asked her some questions and in her answers those three things I prayed for were answered. I went and filled out an application, had an interview and got the job. It is only 2 days a week and Cooper will be in the class I will be working in. Once again, God has placed me in a ministry position where I am going to have to give Him all my weaknesses and He will show Himself strong. I will be in contact with people who don't know Him. It will be difficult for me but I know that all He asks is that I am obedient and He will do the rest.

All this to say there is a change of season coming. I am excited and nervous at the same time. It is time for Keli to grow up and to look outside the four walls of my safe little home at the world that God has placed me in.

By the way, I know most of the people who read this are just a few family members and friends. If and when you think of me pray for the Momma who is sending her babies off to school.